My father in law is at Hospice House.  In September, he was diagnosed with an aggressive Bladder Cancer, he is 91.  At the time they gave him 6 months to live.  I have to say he has been valiant both in attitude and care for my mother in law as she needs full time care.  My sister in law and my husband have been more than doing what they can.  Of course, the phone is never from my husbands hip.  On Mother’s Day, we got the dreaded phone call that my father in law had fallen.  Shattering 3 ribs, puncturing a lung and nipping an artery, he needed an ambulance and a trip to the hospital.  Of course, we had no idea of the extent of his injuries at the time, just that he was on the floor and in great pain.

He has been on Hospice Care for the last eight months and so we couldn’t call 911 or an ambulance.  We had to wait for his hospice case worker to come and evaluate the situation.  The hospice people have been tremendous to work with; however, due to staffing shortages and perhaps because it was the weekend, it was taking them some time to get there.  As the 5 of us stood around ringing our hands, my husband was on the phone with hospice trying to make them understand the magnitude of the situation.  We spent many long minutes trying to figure out what to do and how to help.  Of course we knew enough to know we couldn’t move him but it was agonizing for all to just let him be.

Finally, the hospice people gave us permission to call 911 and we had a rescue squad there within minutes.  My brother in law followed the rescue squad to the hospital and we stayed behind with my mother in law.

Thus began the beginning of the end.  No surgery to be had.  Nothing to fix this.  The doctors and social workers came in and all was in agreement that Comfort Care was the course of action.  Keep him drugged to manage his pain and let nature run its course. 

On Monday, they moved him from the hospital to Josie Harper-Hospice House.  This is a beautiful facility with wonderful people who care for the heart and the soul.  People who are there just to make a hard situation bearable.  A place that has lovely grounds with fountains and flowers.  Bird feeders in the windows and sidewalks around the entire building.  Benches to sit a spell.  A playground for the kids.

So we wait.  We remember the snippets of time that have meant so much to us and admire the strength and courage that it takes to die well.  Lessons learned.

Thanks for stopping

Shelley